Of distraction, final exam and postgraduate...

Final exam is just around the corner, next tuesday to be exact! Am I nervous? Heck yes! Am I ready? Emmm noooo.. But still, here I am posting a blog update. If my parents or Joel found out about this, for sure they will scream at me to stop procrastinating but I just couldn't. Let me rest my brain for a bit, yes that is an excuse. Since it is the exam week, I got distracted so easily it's not even funny. But I believe that exam week brings wonders and one of them is I'm more diligent to declutter and I must that my bedroom, especially my study desk is now tidy. No more clutter on the table and since then, I don't sleep with my mac anymore. I think now you can imagine how untidy my table is, to the point that I have to put my mac on my bed and I sleep with it.

Being a postgraduate student has become even tougher now since I started working. I don't know how some of my working classmates handle and manage their time for studying and leisure. There are times that I wanted to quit school and just focus on work but my parents have been supporting and believing in me. How can I disappoint them? I just need to learn and improve the way I divide my time. Thankfully I've changed my study mode from full-time to part-time, which means there will be a semester break after the exam. At the same time, I feel bad that I won't be able to graduate in a year time with my best friend. Oh I can't wait for the exam to end and I am so looking forward for the semester break cos I need a vacation! Please wish me luck!

Okay Jess, get back to study!!

 

You must remain focused on your journey to greatness.. -Les Brown

Au revoir,
Jessica

Blessings...

Hello all!! How are you guys? I hope everything is good and happy weekend to us!! It has been a long hiatus and all of the sudden today, the urge to update my long forgotten blog kicked in. Well, at least I post something once in awhile, right?

Since my hiatus, so many wonderful things happened to me and I can't thank God enough for the bountiful of blessings that He has showered me and one of them is I finally get a job that I can see myself happy to be working. I started on the 1st of April and so far, the job has been fun. And also thank God that up until now, I have never feel lazy or obligated to wake up in the morning to go to work. Of course if I went to bed late the previous night I will feel like shit waking up the next day but yet again, I have not feel any negative related in the morning going to work, not even the monday blues. Some people might say that maybe it's still in the early stage of me being a working woman, maybe they are right or maybe I have found a job that I love. I don't know but the main thing now is, I like what I am doing now and this feeling of having a job that you like is a really good and filled with positivity. I now feel more confident about myself and this, the feeling that you don't need parents to give you allowance is by far the best feeling ever! I get to spend my hard earning salary by treating the family to a nice dinner, buying stuff that my younger siblings need and grocery shopping occasionally. I feel happy to hear the word thank you from my family when I pay for their dinner and I have learned how hard it is to earn your own money. How much do I earn? Well, that's a secret I will never tell :) The working environment in the office is really good too although I must say I don't really like my cubicle cos my colleagues get to see what I'm doing. And we have to be barefoot in the office, very comfortable! The pantry is fully stocked with coffee and tea making facilities, a bicycle machine for those who are sleepy after having a big lunch and climbing walls. Yes, climbing walls! Since I'm working with a mountaineering company so I think the climbing wall is sort of like essential to the company. When I first started working, I was blown away when I saw the climbing wall. About my colleagues, well I have grown close to some of them. My manager is a really nice lady, she tried her best to make me feel comfortable and I have certainly feel like I'm one of them now. A senior of mine is like an older sister that I never have, I can go to her whenever I have problems about my job and she will help and guide me, just like a sister would. And she is crazy!! The 2 girls in the reservation team are as well crazy! The four of us, me, my sister, the 2 reservation girls make a good collabo in the office. We are the ones that laugh the loudest, talk the loudest and we became close friends. All in all, I like my new job!

Other than that, I found out that I've lost 2kg after not stepping on the scale for so long. Maybe there are truths about don't mind much about our weight, just eat healthily and drink lots of H2O. I was surprised when I get on the office's scale a few days ago, I was like "Wait, is this scale fucking with me right now?" and I smiled to myself and returned back to my cubicle. I couldn't believe what I just saw and when I got home that day, I immediately went into my room to check my weight using my scale and the same number showed on my scale! I was so ecstatic! I jumped up and down in my bedroom and cried cos I was so overwhelmed. Never thought that I could be so emotionally just because of 2kg weight loss. And again, I still praise the Lord for this blessing because all this while I've been battling with my weight since I couldn't remember when. I tried to keep track with my workout routines but failed to keep up because of my postgraduate classes are all after working hours and I rarely get to spend time for myself cos I would either spend time with families or friends. Besides, managing time is not my forté.

As for the love department, I can feel that my relationship with Joel has grown stronger and honestly, to stay strong and in love in a long distant relationship is genuinely tough. And since I'm a girl, I get annoyed easily when Joel replied my text in 2-3 minutes cos to me it is not quick enough. Even though in my heart I know he's probably busy helping his parents but I still want my needs to be prioritized before his responsibilities. I nagged almost every day because of his lack of emotion when we are texting and the worst thing is that my assumptions get so wild to the point that he might have other girl than me. When I told him about my assumptions, he of course got angry but still stick with me. All the nagging and annoyance, he still loves me. I prayed to God to give me perseverance, calm me down when I'm about to explode, think what type of person Joel is before I assume and when there is something that I don't think is right, instead of shooting it at him bluntly, I should share with him instead of bombarding about my dissatisfactions. And thankfully God has helped me in a way that I can't explain. I started to feel a little bit relaxed and not oppressing him so much. Although I am still struggling but I can feel changes in me and so did Joel. I wanted to change and I ask God for it because I know that Joel is a good person and he doesn't deserve to be treated the way I treated him. I should be his partner, a companion that he can rely on and can work together with him in our relationship, not being an immature, self-centered spoiled brat that always nag or complaint. I wanted to be a better person so that I'll treat not just Joel, but everybody better.

I can't express enough how powerful a prayer can be and because of that I am showered with all these beautiful blessings. I'm very thankful.

Don't count your blessing but be thankful for all the good things that you have received...

Au revoir,
Jessica

Smartphone Therapy.

Hello! It's monday everyone! School's about to resume for those who are still in primary and secondary school, no more holiday for you kids! Not forgetting to the teachers, happy working! How was your weekend?? I hope you enjoyed yours as much as I did!

So before I go straight away to the topic, I would like you to answer to these question below :)

1. Are you unable to turn your smartphone off—ever?

2. Do you worry over running out of  your smarthphone battery power? 

3. Do you constantly check for new emails and text messages and calls, notifications?

4. Do you don’t even want to go to the restroom without your smartphone?

If your answers have more than 2 yeses, you officially have the 'Smartphone Addiction" or the medical term for it is Nomophobia. No fret though cos I'm one of you guys and I'm sure there are BILLIONS of people who are like us too. So we are not alone :) I think it is common for human to be addicted to smartphones. Why? The reason is simple, smartphones made life easier. Not only they are light, easy to be carried around, making calls, send text messages, surf the internet, read and send emails, take pictures and videos, you can also install apps that can help you to deal with the problems of everyday life like Whatsapp. In my case, I love to take picture and I used to take a lot of them using my DSLR but my smartphone has taken over my DSLR because my iPhone is wayyyyy lighter and I have all these amazing apps that I use to tweak and edit the pictures and I can upload it on Facebook and Instagrams instantly. But still, addiction is an addiction. 

What can we do about Nomophobia you ask? I have just a thing for all of us! Have you ever heard of or came across with this "Smartphone Therapy" or also known as Therapy for smartphone addict? If you haven't, then try to google it to get to know about it. From the articles that I've read, the remedy to the addiction is to spend at least a day in a week without your precious smartphone. I'm sure some of you might say "Just a day? Easy!" but do not underestimate this addiction. It may not as equal as drug addiction (I'm sure it's wayyyyyyyyyyyy less), but you have no idea how strong does a smartphone affected our daily lives. 

I'm posting this up because I'm currently undergoing the therapy and it's my 6th day of therapy today. I've been smartphone-less since wednesday cos I have to send in my iPhone to get it fixed. It was hard for me to leave it at the shop cos I love it so much, you can't imagine how strong the bond that I have between my iPhone and I. So as all of you figured out, I struggled very hard to endure the 1st and 2nd day of no smartphone. Not that I didn't use smartphone at all, my family have their own and I sometimes I borrowed theirs for just a little while but still, not using your own felt just wrong. On the 3rd day of therapy, I was getting used to it. Still missing my iPhone once in awhile but it wasn't very painful anymore. Felt okay on the 4th and 5th day. As for 6th (today), I feel better. I never thought that I can live without my iPhone but I managed, thanks to all the things that I've been doing that helped me to forget anything related to smartphones.

There you have it. Try to just spend a day without your smartphone and you will realize how plenty of time you get if you're not on your phone all the time. Crossing my fingers that my iPhone will be discharged by later today cos I miss it. ARGH CAN'T WAIT!!!! And will I maintain on doing this 'Smartphone Therapy' every week? Probably... Probably NOT *wink*

My loyal substitute. Thank you for working just fine :)

and the reasons are....

Hello all!! How are you my fellow readers?? That if I still have any. If you guys are wondering how am I doing so far, well all I can say is I'm doing fine. Still breathing and still fat in process of getting fit or healthy (the word that I prefer using). Yes, I'm still active with my zumba and I've conducted quite a few classes already although I still have no class that I teach permanently so I may say that I'm a freelance Zumba Instructor ZIN. In terms of personal stuff, I'm still with my boyfriend Joel and I can't stop thanking God for blessing our relationship.

I've been MIA since forever and I can't even believe that including this post, I only blogged twice this year??? Damn man, I am never this kind of person! So I decided to share some of the MAIN reasons why I don't blog that much anymore.

Here goes the reasons:-

1. Bad time management
I have this problem since the ice age! Lol just kidding. What I mean is I myself can't remember since when I have this problem and I think it has gotten worst when I get older. Delaying time is my forté and I'm sooo good at it. I like to delay time in so many things that I'm supposed to do and when I realized how much time I've wasted, I ran out of time and ended up doing nothing. I realized that I say too much kejap.. Kejap la.. Nanti la dulu.. And I know whenever I say those words, my mom will glance at me and feeling annoyed.

2. Too much procrastinate, wayyyyyy to many
I'm sure everybody procrastinates but I do it in a whole different level. I can say that procrastination has  taken over the time that I spare for all things that I used to love doing like reading, taking pictures and some other things that I want to experience. I believe that my procrastination is the culprit of my bad time management.

3. Not knowing what to do, sort of
This one is quite difficult to explain. Have you ever felt that you have so many spare time that you wanted to do something but you couldn't figure out what you want to do? Have you? To some people, they can choose by simply following their heart what they want to do and they stick with it. It totally differ in my case cos I'm indecisive. I have so many ideas of activities in my head but my indecisiveness makes it harder to pick that one thing I want to do and in the end I chose to procrastinate instead. tsk tsk tsk!

4. Psycho diri sendiri
I psycho myself? Direct translation much? Lol! But yes, I tend to do that A LOT! I think this is the main reason why I let go most of the things that I used to enjoy doing and that's why I don't blog as often as I used to. I lost my touch in producing quality post for my blog, that's what I told myself and hence the number of post is decreasing dramatically.

5. Think too much
Being a cancer (the zodiac, not the illness palis-palis jauh-jauh), I care pretty much about anything and the bad side of it is I can be very emotional when someone said bad things or criticize me. What if people don't like what I blog about? What if I have no readers that read my post anymore? What if I'm not good anymore? You see, all these 'what if....' has been eating me up to the point that I constantly judge myself and I have no mood in blogging. Hence the psycho-ing myself part above.


You all may say that I'm being overreacted or like we usually say it as talabih sudaaa and deep down I actually agree with you. I know that I have to take myself not too serious and just chill, go smell the flowers sort of. I've wasted so many times! I haven't even tick off any of my 2013 resolutions and half of the year has gone, ni kali la! I'm turning 24 this year but I'm still acting like a teenage that doesn't care about the future.

I seriously need to do more self searching so that I know what to improve about myself. I know all the solutions to all the problems that I've mentioned above and it is up to me to change myself to be better right?? One day at a time, Jess :)

Carpe Diem, one day I will get a taste of your real meaning...

2nd day of working... mehhhhh

Ducking myself over the counter, keeping an eye on my surroundings while blogging this. I just need something to do to kill time or else I'll die of boredom. I've been meaning to blog while working since yesterday cos similar to today, I have so many free time I think I could even sleep without other colleagues knowing it. Yeah, I have THAT much if free time. Not that I'm complaining but I do however feel useless most of the time when I'm here.

I have always been the type of person who is eager to learn new things and actually to be good in what I do or at least people know that they can depend on me cos I did my work well. I like the feeling that people can finally trust me, just like when I was still doing my practical in Shangri-La's Rasa Ria Resort. It felt so much better when I was not anymore under the provision of my 'buddy' when handling with customers, doing check ins and stuff. I quoted my manager " you did well and you're on your own now Jess..." Yeah, I miss RRR :(

Besides being clueless, I despise being too dependent on others too. Since I'm new to the company, there are not many things I know on how the company runs, the system and so on. Like I said, I'm eager to learn but the problem now is the senior staff has so many important things to do he couldn't spare any of his time for me to teach me anything. At last I was sent to the information counter. Again, I have nothing to do but looking at passers-by, watching uninteresting channel on the telly and ended up typing this post. Complaint to the 'other half' like I always did when I have absolutely nothing to do. Being a good boyfriend he always has been, he tried to cheer me up by telling me that it's okay cos I get to online, relax and get paid at the same time. I was like I don't think that can even make me feel better. But when I thought about it again, maybe I was pushing myself too hard. I think I should just soak this whole being 'so relax, have nothing to do' time in, before I begin to get really busy with heavy workload.

I was so bored I even watched baseball, a sport which I absolutely have no idea about how the game works.

If only I could do this...

or this...

or even this...

au revoir, 

Jess