just want to let him know..

Today would be the day that I put my BEST POKER FACE on. Nothing good happened, not a good start even. Been worried like hell today about him and seriously, I didn't give my 100% focus on anything cos I need to concentrate on not showing how I truly feel to people. I laughed and had to be nice to everyone but in my heart, only God knows. I wasn't that mad at first but like people said; if you don't let out what's been bugging you, it will eat you eventually. I guess that's what happened to me. I didn't channel my feelings/ worries the right way, just swallow everything in and I ended up popped and outburst. I never want to be angry and expressing it towards those that I love especially him but I'm just a human that loose control of it at times. I didn't mean to snapped at him and the truth is, deep inside I want to understand the situation that he's facing and I know that today had treated him badly as well. But as I've mentioned, I'm only a weak human being and when in rage, angst is the only thing that's clearer to me. After lots of crazy youtube karaoke session in my room, I finally cooled down and able to think straight again. As I rethink of my foolishness on my sudden outburst, I realized that I can be really emotional when it comes to him and I think that's normal cos I know that I'm emotionally attached to him. I never show that I'm angry at my friends but it's different with him and the reason for that is I don't want to hide anything from him. I want to tell him what I feel and think cos those are raw emotions. 


I know that he's having a difficult time right now and I want to be there for him; letting him know that if he feels that he's all alone and no one's with him, I will ALWAYS be at his side to listen, giving him all the comforts that he needs and not forgetting to shower him with my love. I know that each and everyone of us would want to have time for ourselves to breath and just to be alone. I truly believe that's what he wants for the time being and of course, I understand perfectly. I never want anyone to be overwhelmed by me. As for now, I'm just going to let him be and patiently waiting. About his problems, I don't have the rights to know and let alone having the intention to force him to tell me every single detail cos I know it's none of my business but of course, I will be there for him when he needs someone to talk to or to share it with.


There's nothing else that I want to say but I love you hun.. Fogive me :'(

You are the only exception :-*

Knowing you at first was quite peculiar,

you talked too much and I was like 'Oh, dear..'

You were annoying and that's the truth,

But now I know you and all I want is YOU!

I wanted to be just friends but you wanted more,

Now I say 'I Love You' and you reply ' I Love You More'.

I was scared to love and to be loved,

But now I have you and I thank the Heaven above.

Though we fight and constantly argue,

I know our love will come to the rescue.

Though the South China Sea separates us,

Not a big deal and we don't make a fuss. 

Please love me for who I am,

This heart of steel of mine that you have tamed.

Compliments are nice and you know I don't like them honey,

I don't ask for much, just accept me entirely.

Being apart is only distance,

Yet we will always have our late night conversation.

We started as mutual friends like anybody else too,

I'm telling you now that our 'green light' leads me to you.

Just cherish this moment, it might not last long,

If we stick and love each other, our love will grow strong.

You said you want me, it makes my heart delight,

I know in time we will do whatever to make this right.

- Jessica Justine-