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Thursday, July 22, 2010

The thoughts from a girl that has just turned 21.

My birthday was yesterday and I'm now officially 21 years old. 21, that's a big sum and actually it makes me realized that time indeed flies quickly. It feels like it was just yesterday that I got into kindergarden, primary school and high school. Now, I'm a university student and yet I still feel like a kid. 

I wasn't asleep yet when the clock stroked at 12am sharp on the 21st of July. I logged in to my facebook account and seeing my wall began to fill with birthday wishes and same goes to my cellphone. Birthday wishes were plenty and not to mention all the calls that I've answered from my relatives and friends. When all of that ended, I lay down on my bed and when the reality started to burst in my head, I got terrified for the fact that I'm now 21. I know for sure that I'm afraid of aging, not because I'd look old or any of those appearance kinda stuff. I'm afraid that I'm too old for being useful to everybody. In my head I keep thinking "I'm now 21 and yet I still haven't make my parents proud." That thought keeps bugging me and honestly I feel as I grow older, I'm burdening my parents even more. It sucks that I'm still a useless human being after 21 years of living.

For the past 21 years that I've lived, did I learn anything? Absolutely yes. I've learned a lot and it was based on try and error which means I learn from my mistakes. Some of it are painful but I accepted it as lessons and life experiences. My 21 years filled with so much laughter and not forgetting sadness cos it comes hand in hand. 

In a conclusion, the journey of 21 years has been a blast and I'd like to thank my friends for being with me in times of happiness and also sadness. YOU GUYS KEEP ME SANE!! Thank you mom and dad for conceiving me, without the both of you I wouldn't be here and alive today. I love you guys I could die!! Not forgetting my young rascals adik2, kamu la juga penghibur time di rumah and kamu la jga yg selalu ksi susah saya but I still love kamu!! Lastly, I would thank God and Jesus for protecting me all the time and be with me when I'm at my lowest point. Thanks for letting me live until today. 

Looking forward for the next 21 years!!

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