I confessed that these past few days, I might left out God in my life. It doesn't mean that I forget or anything, it's just that I didn't include Him in what I'm doing etc. All the thoughts that I was having makes me realize that I'm a sinner for neglecting my God. Death is in God's hands and He has the absolute power to take my life and others in just a snap of a finger. It's like a slap of the face (again) that how much we have forgotten that we do not control our life and how easy it is to end.
A couple of days ago, I went to the hospital to visit my Godmother. I didn't know that she was ill and the reason why she was admitted to the hospital at the first place. When I arrived at the female wad, I saw her from afar and all of the sudden the memories I have about her come up in my mind like a movie. It was way back, the time when I was a small kid and my family still live in Labuan. She was like a mother to me and my mom and her were best friends since high school. That's the reason why my mom chose her to be my Godmother, I guess.
I remember that she always came to my house when my mom was pregnant with my younger sister, Marsha and she was the one who took care of me when my mom was doing house chores. She would kept me company and even when my mom gave birth to my sister, she would be there to help my mom took care of me and my younger sister when my mom needed rest. She was our neighbor and that's why it was easy for her to come by. When we moved from Labuan, we still stay in touch and she would call on my birthday just to wish me happy birthday. The last words from her to me when we're about to leave the hospital was "Thanks for coming ah." and it was painful to see her to even try to speak because she was suffocating. She was using breathing support because she hardly able to breath normally. A few hours after we left, my Godmother's aunt who is also a close family friend of ours called and told us that she was admitted to ICU for both of her kidney and liver has failed to function. The next day, we came to the hospital to visit her but we came too early so we just stayed there for a few hours and then we went back home. My parents decided to visit her again so that my Godmother won't feel lonely and at least she has someone that she really knows to be at her side. My mom managed to get into the ICU wad. I remember my mom telling me that she has a lot of hose inserted into her body. I could only imagine how she look like and I was like " It must be painful for Godma." After that, my parents went back home again and at 45 minutes past 5; my mom answered a call that brought a total silent to her. I asked my mom what's wrong and she answered me "Your Godma had passed away." At first, I was in shocked with the news but not long after that, I feel a bit relieved because I know that she won't be in pain any longer. My parents quickly change to appropriate clothes to leave the house, I wanted to go with them but they didn't let me because they need me to be at home to take care of my younger siblings.
My Godmother will be buried at her hometown, Labuan and my parents and I will definitely go there and attend her funeral to pay our last respect and to express our love and care for her.
She had lived her life caring for others and I think it's her time to be taken care of and who else can show undying love and unconditionally care for her besides God?
I will meet you in heaven, Godma :)
A good daughter, sister, friend and Godmother