Enough said.

Today was one of my not-good-day days and not a very productive one either. Took a few pictures but all of them didn't turn out the way that I want. I got so frustrated until at some point I realized that I was looking blankly on the ceiling. Mind blank, that was a good feeling. Numb, not feeling anything is good. I got carried away by it while listening to a mix I made that's called 'List of songs that are good while looking blankly on the ceiling'. 

Being in bed reading to a new book that I just bought was the best thing, at least I have something that I feel okay about today. 'The Book of Tomorrow' is the name of the book by Cecelia Ahern. She's the author of PS, I Love You. Reading the book would make us think about our tomorrow, I think that's what the author wants her reader to feel. But, I feel nothing at all. Don't even bother to think about my tomorrow. Not in the mood for it.

Period since yesterday totally ruin everything. I blame my period or maybe not? I don't know. Don't matter. Now, I prefer to feel this way. It's been awhile since the last time I felt this way and I actually like it. I should give myself a rest. Wrong! My feelings need rest the most. I need to slowdown and note to brain, stop harassing heart and feelings.


Okay, I should try again to get some sleep. Brain, heart and feelings, let's go and get some sleep. Hopefully everything will be okay.

I keep sighing today.

Sometimes even the smallest thing can cause a bigger problem, it fuck things up and make me feel I'm the problem even if I don't even know if I'm the one who should say sorry or not. But I still say sorry over and over again because I don't know what else to do. I know by just telling 'I love you' wouldn't work for you. I didn't mean to 'ignore' you cos I don't want to feel more and more guilty and yet I can't help but to feel that way. You asked me to forgive you and I did because 'I love you'. Yeah, it's a lame reason but that's how I feel towards you. We constantly fight over small things but it never make me less love you and now you're the one who's ignoring me and I don't even know why you do this. I want to understand but you don't give me anything to understand about. Communicate is the only way hun, help me to understand or the 'problem' won't leave us alone to be truly in love with each other.