and the reasons are....

Hello all!! How are you my fellow readers?? That if I still have any. If you guys are wondering how am I doing so far, well all I can say is I'm doing fine. Still breathing and still fat in process of getting fit or healthy (the word that I prefer using). Yes, I'm still active with my zumba and I've conducted quite a few classes already although I still have no class that I teach permanently so I may say that I'm a freelance Zumba Instructor ZIN. In terms of personal stuff, I'm still with my boyfriend Joel and I can't stop thanking God for blessing our relationship.

I've been MIA since forever and I can't even believe that including this post, I only blogged twice this year??? Damn man, I am never this kind of person! So I decided to share some of the MAIN reasons why I don't blog that much anymore.

Here goes the reasons:-

1. Bad time management
I have this problem since the ice age! Lol just kidding. What I mean is I myself can't remember since when I have this problem and I think it has gotten worst when I get older. Delaying time is my forté and I'm sooo good at it. I like to delay time in so many things that I'm supposed to do and when I realized how much time I've wasted, I ran out of time and ended up doing nothing. I realized that I say too much kejap.. Kejap la.. Nanti la dulu.. And I know whenever I say those words, my mom will glance at me and feeling annoyed.

2. Too much procrastinate, wayyyyyy to many
I'm sure everybody procrastinates but I do it in a whole different level. I can say that procrastination has  taken over the time that I spare for all things that I used to love doing like reading, taking pictures and some other things that I want to experience. I believe that my procrastination is the culprit of my bad time management.

3. Not knowing what to do, sort of
This one is quite difficult to explain. Have you ever felt that you have so many spare time that you wanted to do something but you couldn't figure out what you want to do? Have you? To some people, they can choose by simply following their heart what they want to do and they stick with it. It totally differ in my case cos I'm indecisive. I have so many ideas of activities in my head but my indecisiveness makes it harder to pick that one thing I want to do and in the end I chose to procrastinate instead. tsk tsk tsk!

4. Psycho diri sendiri
I psycho myself? Direct translation much? Lol! But yes, I tend to do that A LOT! I think this is the main reason why I let go most of the things that I used to enjoy doing and that's why I don't blog as often as I used to. I lost my touch in producing quality post for my blog, that's what I told myself and hence the number of post is decreasing dramatically.

5. Think too much
Being a cancer (the zodiac, not the illness palis-palis jauh-jauh), I care pretty much about anything and the bad side of it is I can be very emotional when someone said bad things or criticize me. What if people don't like what I blog about? What if I have no readers that read my post anymore? What if I'm not good anymore? You see, all these 'what if....' has been eating me up to the point that I constantly judge myself and I have no mood in blogging. Hence the psycho-ing myself part above.


You all may say that I'm being overreacted or like we usually say it as talabih sudaaa and deep down I actually agree with you. I know that I have to take myself not too serious and just chill, go smell the flowers sort of. I've wasted so many times! I haven't even tick off any of my 2013 resolutions and half of the year has gone, ni kali la! I'm turning 24 this year but I'm still acting like a teenage that doesn't care about the future.

I seriously need to do more self searching so that I know what to improve about myself. I know all the solutions to all the problems that I've mentioned above and it is up to me to change myself to be better right?? One day at a time, Jess :)

Carpe Diem, one day I will get a taste of your real meaning...